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Music by 


or Tfee Tmj&m, of Titipu 


New York 

?82 S9^m 55-0^869 


The mikado. 

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Public Library 

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3114800451 5961 


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UOi? 1993 


UL 1 7 1995 


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NANKI-POO . , His Son, disguised as a wandering minstrel, and in love with YUM- YUM 

Ko-Ko Lord High Executioner of Titipu 

POOH-BAH .Lord High Everything Else 

PISH-TUSH A Noble Lord 


PITTI-SING i Three Sisters, Wards of Ko-Ko 


KATTSHA An Elderly Lady, in love with NANKi-Poo 


ACT I Courtyard of Ko-Ko's Official Residence 
ACT II Ko-Ko's Garden 


Before the action of the opera begins, Nanki-Poo has fled from the court of 
his father, the Mikado of Japan, to escape marriage with an elderly lady, named 
Katisha. Assuming the disguise of a musician, he has then fallen in love with a 
fair maiden, Yum- Yum; but he has been prevented from marrying her by her 
guardian, Ko-Ko, who wishes to marry her himself. Ko-Ko, however, has been 
condemned to death for flirting; and, when Act I opens, Nanki-Poo is hastening 
to the court of Ko-Ko in Titipu to find out whether Yum-Yum is now free to marry 

From Pooh-Bah (a corrupt and proud public official) and Pish -Tush (a noble 
man), Nanki-Poo learns that Ko-Ko has, instead, become Lord High Executioner, 
thus preventing the sentence of decapitation from being carried out. Ko-Ko is, 
in fact, Roing to marry Yum-Yum that very afternoon. 

Everything seems to be going well for Ko-Ko, but suddenly a letter comes 
from the Mikado ordering him to execute somebody or else lose his position of 
Lord High Executioner. He is in a quandary to find someone to execute, when 
Nanki-Poo appears, bent upon suicide because he cannot marry Yum-Yum. By 
conceding to him the right to marry Yum-Yum for a month, Ko-Ko persuades 
Nanki-Poo to be the subject for the public execution when that month is up. 
There is general rejoicing in this apparent solution to the problem, marred only 
by the unexpected appearance of Katisha, in quest of the vanished object of her 
affections, Nanki-Poo. She is driven away, but threatens to go to the Mikado 
about the matter. 

Act II opens with Yum-Yum preparing for her marriage with Nanki-Poo. 
As all are singing a "merry madrigal", Ko-Ko comes in with the news that he 
has just discovered a law stating that when a married man is executed his wife 
must be buried alive. To save Yum-Yum from that fate, Nanki-Poo decides to 
kill himself at once. But this again throws Ko-Ko into a quandary to find some 
one to execute (especially as he has heard that the Mikado is at that moment on 
his way to Titipu). Nanki-Poo magnanimously offers himself for immediate 
decapitation, but Ko-Ko is unable to perform the act without some practice. 

Another way out of the difficulty presents itself: Ko-Ko has Pooh-Bah 
make a false affidavit that Nanki-Poo has been executed, and bids Nanki-Poo 
and Yum-Yum leave the country. 

The Mikado soon appears. Ko-Ko thinks that the object of this visit 
is to see whether the execution has taken place. He accordingly produces the 
affidavit and describes with gusto the execution. But the Mikado has actually 
come at the prompting of Katisha in search of his lost son. When the fact tran 
spires that the person whom Ko-Ko has supposedly executed is really the Mikado's 
son, Ko-Ko and his accomplices are declared guilty of "compassing the death of 
file Heir Apparent". The only hope for them is to admit the falsehood of the 
affidavit and produce Nanki-Poo alive. But, as Nanki-Poo has already married 
Yum-Yum and so cannot marry Katisha, Katisha will surely insist on the execution 
of Nanki-Poo and Yum-Yum. Ko-Ko solves the problem by offering his hand to 
Katisha ; and* after he sings her tbe t^tiefepfjj; ballad of "Wi|Iow r tit-wfl|ow r % siie 
accepts him* T&e epd <rf ^e 
as the son of the Mikado. 




1. "IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHO WE ARE" (Opening Chorus and Recitative) 

Nanki-Poo and Men 

2. "A WAND'RING MINSTREL I" (Solo and Chorus) .... Nanki-Poo and Men 

3. "OuR GREAT MIKADO, VIRTUOUS MAN" (Solo and Chorus) 

Pish-Tush and Men 

4. " YOUNG MAN, DESPAIR" (Song). . . .Pooh-Bah, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush 

Nanki-Poo and Pooh-Bah 

Ko-Ko and Men 
5a. "As SOME DAY IT MAY HAPPEN" (Solo and Chorus) Ko-Ko and Men 



Yum- Yum, Peep-Bo, Pitti-Sing, and Girls 

8. "So PLEASE YOU, SIR, WE MUCH REGRET" (Quartet and Chorus) 

Yum- Yum, Peep-Bo, Pitti-Sing, Pooh-Bah, and Girls 

9. "WERE YOU NOT TO Ko-Ko PLIGHTED" (Duet) . . Yum-Yum'and Nanki-Poo 

10. "I AM so PROUD" (Trio) . .Pooh-Bah, Ko-Ko, and Pish-Tush 

11. "WiTH ASPECT STERN AND GLOOMY STRIDE" (Finale of Act I) ... .Ensemble 


12. "BRAID THE RAVEN HAIR" (Opening Chorus and Solo) . .Pitti-Sing and Girls 



Yum-Yum, Pitti-Sing, Nanki-Poo, and Pish-Tush 

15. "HERE'S A HOW-DE-DO!" (Trio) ... Yum-Yum, Nanki-Poo, and Ko-Ko 

16. "Mi-YA SA-MA" (March of the Mikado's Troops, Chorus, and Duet) 

Mikado, Katisha^ Girls, and Men 

17. "A MORE HUMANE MIKADO" (Solo and Chorus) Mikado, Girls, and Men 


Ko-Ko, Pitti-Sing, Pooh-Bah, Girls, and Men 


Mikado, Pitti-Sing, Pooh-Bah, Ko-Ko, and Katisha 


Nanki-Poo, Ko-Ko, Yum- Yum, Pitti-Sing, and Pooh-Bah 

21. "ALONE, AND YET ALIVE!" (Recitative and Song) Katisha 

22. "WiLLOW r TIT-WILLOW" (Song) , Ko-Ko 


KaMsha and Ko-Ko 

24. "FOR HE'S GONE AND MARRIED YUM-YUM" (Finale of Act II). .Ensemble 



The Town of Titipu 


SCENE: Courtyard of Ko-Ko's Palace in 
Titipu. Japanese nobles discovered standing 
and sitting in attitudes suggested by native 


Opening Chorus and Recitative 

and MEN (Chorus of Nobles) 

If you want to know who we are, 

We are gentlemen of Japan: 
On many a vase and jar, 
On many a screen and fan, 
We figure in lively paint: 
Out attitude's queer and quaint 
You're wrong if you think it ain't, oh! 

If you think we are worked by strings 

Like a Japanese marionette, 
You don't understand these things: 
It is simply Court etiquette. 

Perhaps you suppose this throng 

Can't keep it up all day long? 

If that's your idea, you're wrong, oh! 

(Enter NANKI-POO in great excitement. He 
carries a native guitar on his back and a bundle 
of ballads in his hand.) 


NANKI: Gentlemen, I pray you tell me 
Where a gentle maiden dwelleth, 
Named Yum- Yum, the ward of 

In pity speak oh, speak, I pray 


A NOBLE: Why, who are you who ask this 

NANKI : Come gather round me, and I'll tell 

No. 2. 


Solo and Chorus 

NANKI: A wand'ring minstrel I 

A thing of shreds and patches, 
Of ballads, songs, and snatches, 
And dreamy lullaby! 

My catalogue is long, 

Through every passion ranging, 
And to your humours changing 

I tune my supple song! 

Are you in sentimental mood? 
I'll sigh with you, 

Oh, sorrow! 

On maiden's coldness do you brood ? 
I'll do so, too 

Oh, sorrow, sorrow! 
I'll charm your willing ears 
With songs of lovers' fears, 
While sympathetic tears 
My cheeks bedew 
Oh, sorrow, sorrow! 

But if patriotic sentiment is wanted, 

I've patriotic ballads cut and dried; 
For where'er our country's banner may be 


All other local banners are defied! 
Our warriors, in serried ranks assembled, 
Never quail or they conceal it if they 

And I shouldn't be surprised if nations 

Before the mighty troops of Titipu! 

MEN: We shouldn't be surprised if nations 

trembled with alarm 
Before the mighty troops of Titipu! 


NANKI: And if you call for a song of the sea, 

We'll heave the capstan round, 
With a yeo heave-ho, for the wind is 

Her anchor's a-trip and her helm's 

Hurrah for the homeward bound! 

MEN: Yeo-ho, heave-ho, 

Hurrah for the homeward bound! 

NANKI: To lay aloft in a howling breeze 
May tickle a landsman's taste, 
But the happiest hour a sailor sees 
Is when he's down 
At an inland town, 
With his Nancy on his knees, yeo-ho! 
And his arm around her waist! 

MEN: Then man the capstan off we go, 
As the fiddler swings us round, 
With a yeo heave-ho, 
And a rum below, 
Hurrah for the homeward bound! 
Yeo-ho, heave ho, 
Yeo-ho, heave ho, heave ho, 

NANKI: A wand 'ring minstrel I 

A thing of shreds and patches, 
Of ballads, songs, and snatches, 
And dreamy lullaby! 

(Enter PiSH-Tusn.) 

PISH: And what may be your business with 
Yum- Yum? 

NANKI: I'll tell you. A year ago I was a 
member of the Titipu town band. It was my 
duty to take the cap round for contributions. 
While discharging this delicate office, I saw 
Yum- Yum. We loved each other at once, but 
she was betrothed to her guardian, Ko-Ko, a 
cheap tailor, and I saw that my suit was hope 
less. Overwhelmed with despair, I quitted the 
town. Judge of my delight when I heard, a 
month ago, that Ko-Ko had been condemned 
to death for flirting! I hurried back at once, in 
the hope of finding Yum- Yum at liberty to 
listen to my protestations. 

PISH: It is true that Ko-Ko was condemned 
to death for flirting, but he was reprieved at the 
last moment, and raised to the exalted rank of 
Lord High Executioner under the following re 
markable circumstances : 

Solo and Chorus 

PISH: Our great Mikado, virtuous man. 
When he to rule our land began, 
Resolved to try 
A plan whereby 

Young men might best be steadied. 
So he decreed, in words succinct, 
That all who flirted, leered, or winked 
(Unless connubially linked) 
Should forthwith be beheaded. 

And I expect you'll all agree 
That he was right to so decree. 
And I am right, 
And you are right, 
And all is right as right can be! 

MEN: And you are right, etc. 

PISH: This stern decree, you'll understand, 

Caused great dismay throughout the 


For young and old 
And shy and bold 
Were equally affected. 
The youth who winked a roving eye, 
Or breathed a non-connubial sigh, 
Was thereupon condemned to die 
He usually objected. 

And you'll allow, as I expect, 
That he was right to so object. 
And I am right, 
And you are right, 
And everything is quite correct! 

MEN: And you are right, etc. 

PISH: And so we straight let out on bail 
A convict from the county jail, 
Whose head was next, 
On some pretext, 
Condemned to be mown off, 
And made him Headsman, for we said, 
"Who's next to be decapited 
Cannot cut off another's head 

Until he's cut his own off.*' 
And we are right, I think you'll say, 
To argue in this kind of way. 
And I am right, 
And you are right, 
And all is right too-loo-ral-lay! 

MEN: And you are right, etc. 


(Exeunt CHOBXJS. Enter POOH-BAH.) 

NANKI : Ko-Ko, the cheap tailor, Lord High 
Executioner of Titipu! Why, that's the high 
est rank a citizen can attain! 

POOH: It is. Our logical Mikado, seeing no 
moral difference between the dignified judge 
who condemns a criminal to die, and the indus 
trious mechanic who carries out the sentence, 
has rolled the two offices into one, and every 
judge is now his own executioner. 

NANKI : But how good of you (for I see that 
you are a nobleman of the highest rank) to 
condescend to tell all this to me, a mere stroll 
ing minstrel! 

POOH: Don't mention it. I am, in point of 
fact, a particularly haughty and exclusive per 
son, of pre- Adamite ancestral descent. You 
will understand this when I tell you that I can 
trace my ancestry back to a protoplasmal pri 
mordial atomic globule. Consequently, my 
family pride is something inconceivable. I 
can't help it. I was born sneering. But I 
struggle hard to overcome this defect. I mor 
tify my pride continually. When all the great 
Officers of State resigned in a body because 
they were too proud to serve under an ex- 
tailor, did I not unhesitatingly accept all then* 
posts at once? 

PISH: And the salaries attached to them? 
You did. 

POOH: It is consequently my degrading 
duty to serve this upstart as First Lord of the 
Treasury, Lord Chief Justice, Commancter-in- 
Chief, Lord High Admiral, Master of the 
Buckhounds, Groom of the Back Stairs, Arch 
bishop of Titipu, and Lord Mayor, both acting 
and elect, all rolled into one. And at a salary ! 
A Pooh-Bah paid for his services ! I a salaried 
minion! But I do it! It revolts me, but I do 

NANKI: And it does you credit. 

POOH: But I don't stop at that. I go and 
dine with middle-class people on reasonable 
terms. I dance at cheap suburban parties for 
a moderate fee. I accept refreshment at any 
hands, however lowly. I also retail State se 
crets at a very low figure. For instance, any 

further information about Yum- Yum would 
come under the head of a State secret. (NANKI- 
Poo takes the hint, and gives him money.) 
(Aside) Another insult, and I think a light 



POOH : Young man, despair, 

Likewise go to, 
Yum-Yum the fair 
You must not woo. 
It will not do: 
I'm sorry for you, 
You very imperfect ablutioner! 

This very day 

From school Yum-Yum 
Will wend her way, 

And homeward come, 

With beat of drum, 

And a rum-tum-tum, 
To wed the Lord High Executioner! 

And the brass will crash, 

And the trumpets bray, 
And they'll cut a dash 

On their wedding day. 
She'll toddle away, as all aver, 
With the Lord High Executioner! 

NANKI and PISH : And the brass will crash, etc, 

POOH: It's a hopeless case, 
As you may see, 
And in your place 
Away I'd flee; 
But don't blame me 
I'm sorry to be 
Of your pleasure a diminutioner. 

They'll vow their pact 

Extremely soon, 
In point of fact 

This afternoon 

Her honeymoon 

With that buffoon 
At seven commences, so you shun her! 

ALL: And the brass will crash, etc. 

(Exit PISH-TISH.) 






And have I journeyed for a month, or nearly, 
To learn that Yum- Yum, whom I love so 

This day to Ko-Ko is to be united! 


The fact appears to be as you've recited: 
But here he comes, equipped as suits his 

He'll give you any further information. 

(Exeunt POOH-BAH and NANKI-POO. Enter 



Chorus and Solo 

Ko-Ko and MEN 

CHORUS: Behold the Lord High Executioner! 
A personage of noble rank and title 

A dignified and potent officer, 
Whose functions are particularly vital! 

Defer, defer, 
To the Lord High Executioner! 

(Enter Ko-Ko, attended.) 

Ko: Taken from the county jail 

By a set of curious chances; 
Liberated then on bail, 

On my own recognizances; 
Wafted by a favouring gale, 

As one sometimes is hi trances, 
To a height that few can scale, 

Save by long and weary dances; 
Surely, never had a male 

Under such like circumstances 
So adventurous a tale, 

Which may rank with most ro 

Ko: Gentlemen, I'm much touched by this 
reception. I can only trust that by strict at 
tention to duty I shall ensure a continuance of 
those favours which it will ever be my study 
to deserve. If I should ever be called upon 
to act professionally, I am happy to think that 
there will be no difficulty in finding plenty of 
people whose loss will be a distinct gain to 
society at large. 

No. 5a. "As SOME DAY IT MAY 

Solo and Chorus 
Ko-Ko and MEN 

Ko : As some day it may happen that a victim 

must be found, 
I've got a little list I've got a little 

Of society offenders who might well be 

And who never would be missed i who 

never would be missed! 
There's the pestilential nuisances who 

write for autographs 
All people who have flabby hands and 

irritating laughs 
All children who are up in dates, and 

floor you with 'em flat 
All persons who in shaking hands, shake 

hands with you like that 
And all third persons who on spoiling 

tete-a-tetes insist 
They'd none of 'em be missed 'they'd 

none of 'em be missed! 
CHOKTJS: He's got 'em on the list 'he's got 

'em on the list; 

And they'll none of 'em be missed 

they'll none of 'em be missed ! 

Ko: There's the nigger serenader, and the 

others of his race, 
And the piano-organist I've got him 

on the list! 
And the people who eat peppermint and 

puff it in your face, 
They never would be missed they 

never would be missed! 
Then the idiot who praises, with enthusi 
astic tone, 
All centuries but this, and every country 

but his own; 
And the lady from the provinces, who 

dresses like a guy, 
And "who doesn't think she dances, but 

would rather like to try"; 
And that singular anomaly, the lady 

novelist - 
I don't think she'd be missed I'm 

sure she'd not be missed ! 
CHORUS : He's got her on the list he's got her 

on the list; 

And I don't think she'll be missed - 
I'm sure she'll not be missed! 



Ko: And that Nisi Prius nuisance, who just 

now is rather rife, 
The Judicial humorist I've got him 

on the list! 
All funny fellows, comic men, and clowns 

of private life 
They'd none of 'em be missed they'd 

none of 'em be missed! 
And apologetic statesmen of a compro 
mising kind, 

Such as what d'ye call him Thing-'em- 

bob, and likewise never mind, 

And 'St 'st 'st and What's-his- 

name, and also You -know - 


The task of filling up the blanks I'd 

rather leave to you. 
But it really doesn't matter whom you 

put upon the list, 
For they'd none of 'em be missed 

they'd none of 'em be missed! 
CHORUS: You may put 'em on the list, etc. 
(Exeunt CHORUS. Enter POOH-BAH.) 
Ko: Pooh-Bah, it seems that the festivities 
in connection with my approaching marriage 
must last a week. I should like to do it hand 
somely, and I want to consult you as to the 
amount I ought to spend upon them. 

POOH: Certainly. In which of my capaci 
ties? As First Lord of the Treasury, Lord 
Chamberlain, Attorney-General, Chancellor of 
the Exchequer, Privy Purse, or Private Sec 

Ko: Suppose we say as Private Secretary. 
POOH: Speaking as your Private Secretary, 
I should say that as the city will have to pay 
for it, don't stint yourself, do it well. 

Ko: Exactly as the city will have to pay 
for it. That is your advice. 

POOH : As Private Secretary. Of course you 
will understand that, as Chancellor of the Ex 
chequer, I am bound to see that due economy 
is observed. 

Ko: Oh! But you said just now "don't 
stint yourself, do it well," 
POOH: As Private Secretary. 
Ko: And now you say that due economy 
must be observed. 

POOH : As Chancellor of the Exchequer. 
Ko: I see. Come over here, where the 
Chancellor can't hear us. (They cross the 

stage.) Now, as my Solicitor, how do you ad 
vise me to deal with this difficulty? 

POOH: Oh, as your Solicitor, I should have 
no hesitation in saying "chance it " 

Ko: Thank you. (Shaking his hand) I 

POOH: If it were not that, as Lord Chief 
Justice, I am bound to see that the law isn't 

Kp : I see. Come over here, where the Chief 
Justice can't hear us. (They cross the stage.) 
Now, then, as First Lord of the Treasury? 

POOH: Of course, as First Lord of the 
Treasury, I could propose a special vote that 
would cover all expenses, if it were not that, 
as Leader of the Opposition, it would be my 
duty to resist it, tooth and nail. Or, as Pay 
master-General, I could so cook the accounts 
that, as Lord High Auditor, I should never dis 
cover the fraud. But then, as Archbishop of 
Titipu, it would be my duty to denounce my 
dishonesty and give myself into my own cus 
tody as First Commissioner of Police. 

Ko: That's extremely awkward. 

POOH : I don't say that all these distinguished 
people couldn't be squared; but it is right 
to tell you that they wouldn't be sufficiently 
degraded in their own estimation unless they 
are insulted with a very considerable bribe. 

Ko: The matter shall have my careful con 
sideration. But my bride and her sisters ap 
proach, and any little compliment on your 
part, such as an abject grovel in a character 
istic Japanese attitude, would be esteemed a 

(Exeunt together. Enter procession of YUM- 
PEEP-BO, and PiTTi-SiNG.) 


Comes a train of little ladies 

From scholastic trammels free, 
Each a little bit afraid is, 

Wond'ring what the world can be! 

Is it but a world of trouble 

Sadness set to song? 
Is its beauty but a bubble 

Bound to break ere long? 


Are its palaces and pleasures 

Fantasies that fade? 
And the glory of its treasures 

Shadow of a shade? 

Schoolgirls we, eighteen and under, 
- From scholastic trammels free, 
And we wonder how we wonder! 
What on earth the world can be! 



Trio and Chorus 

TRIO: Three little maids from school are we, 
Pert as a school-girl well can be, 
Filled to the brim with girlish glee, 
Three little maids from school! 

YUM: Everything is a source of fun. (Chuckle) 

PEEP: Nobody's safe, for we care for none! 


PITTI: Life is a joke that's -just begun! 


TRIO: Three little maids from school! 


Three little maids who, all unwary, 
Come from a ladies' seminary, 
Freed from its genius tutelary 

(Suddenly demure) 
Three little maids from school! 
YUM: One little maid is a bride, Yum- Yum 
PEEP: Two little maids in attendance come 
PITTI: Three little maids is the total sum. 
TRIO: Three little maids from school! 
YUM: From three little maids take one away 
PEEP: Two little maids remain, and they * 

PITTI: Won't have to wait very long, they 


TRIO: Three little maids from school! 
CHORUS: Three little maids from school! 

ALL: (dancing) 

Three little maids who, all unwary, 
Come from a ladies' seminary, 
Freed from its genius tutelary 

TKLO: (suddenly demure) 

Three little maids from school! 

ALL: Three little maids from school! 

(Enter Ko-Ko and POOH-BAH.) 

Ko: At last, my bride that is to be! (About 
to embrace her) 

YUM: You're not going to kiss me before all 
these people! 

Ko: Well, that was the idea. 

YUM: (aside to PEEP-Bo) It seems odd, 
doesn't it? 

PEEP: It's rather peculiar. 

PITTI: Oh, I expect it's all right. Must have 
a beginning, you know. 

YUM: Well, of course I know nothing about 
these things; but I've no objection if it's usual. 

Ko: Oh, it's quite usual, I think. Eh, Lord 
Chamberlain? (Appealing to POOH-BAH) 

POOH: I have known it done. (Ko-Ko em 
braces her.) 

YUM: Thank goodness that's over! (Sees 
NANKI-POO and rushes to him) Why, that's 
never you! (The THREE GIRLS rush to him and 
shake his hands, all speaking at once.) 

YUM: Oh, I'm so glad! I haven't seen 

you for ever so long, and I'm right at the 

top of the school, and I've got three prizes, 

and I've come home for good, and I'm not 

going back any more! 

PEEP: And have you got an engagement? 

Yum-Yum's got one, but she doesn't like it, 

and she'd ever so much rather it was you. 

I've come home for good, and I'm not going 

back any more! 

PITTI: Now tell us all the news, because 

you go about everywhere, and we've been at 

school, but, thank goodness, that's all over 

now, and we've come home for good, and 

we're not going back any more! 

(These three speeches are spoken together in 
one breath.) 

Ko : I beg your pardon. Will you present 

f YUM: Oh, this is the musician who used 
\ PEEP: Oh, this is the gentleman who used 
[ PITTI: Oh, it is only Nanki-Poo who used 

Ko : One at a time, if you please. 

YUM: Oh, if you please, he's the gentleman 
who used to play so beautifully on the on 

PITTI: On the Marine Parade. 

YUM: Yes, I think that was the name of the 



NANKI: Sir, I have the misfortune to love 
your ward, Yum- Yum oh, I know I deserve 
your anger! 

Ko: Anger! not a bit, my boy. Why, I love 
her myself. Charming little girl, isn't she? 
Pretty eyes, nice hair. Taking little thing, al 
together. Very glad to hear my opinion backed 
by a competent authority. Thank you very 
much. Good-bye. (To PisH-Tusn) Take him 
away. (Pisn-TusH removes him.} 

PITTI: (who has been examining POOH-BAH) 
I beg your pardon, but what is this? Cus 
tomer come to try on? 

Ko : That is a Tremendous Swell. 

PITTI: Oh, it's alive. (She starts back in 

POOH: Go away, little girls. Can't talk to 
little girls like you. Go away, there's dears. 

Ko: Allow me to present you, Pooh-Bah. 
These are my three wards. The one in the 
middle is my bride-elect. 

POOH : What do you want me to do to them? 
Mind, I will not kiss them. 

Ko: No, no, you shan't kiss them: a little 
bow a mere nothing you needn't mean it, 
you know. 

POOH: It goes against the grain. They are 
not young ladies, they are young persons. 

Ko: Come, come, make an effort, there's a 
good nobleman. 

POOH: (aside to Ko-Ko) Well, I shan't 
mean it. (With a great effort) How de do, 
little girls, how de do? (Aside) Oh, my pro- 
toplasmal ancestor! 

Ko: That's very good. (Girls indulge in 
suppressed laughter.) 

POOH : I see nothing to laugh at. It is very 
painful to me to have to say "How de do, little 
girls, how de do?" to young persons. I'm not 
in the habit of saying "How de do, little girls, 
how de do?' to anybody under the rank of a 

Ko: (aside to girls) Don't laugh at him, 
he can't help it he's under treatment for it. 
(Aside to POOH-BAH) Never mind them, they 
don't understand the delicacy of your position. 

POOH: We know how delicate it is, don't we? 

Ko: I should think we did! How a noble 
man of your importance can do it at all is a 
thing I never can, never shall understand. 
(Ko-Ko retires up and goes off.) 



Quartet and Chorus 


and GIRLS 


So please you, Sir, we much regret 
If we have failed in etiquette 
Towards a man of rank so high 
We shall know better by and by. 


But youth, of course, must have^its fling, 
So pardon us, 
So pardon us, 

And don't, in girlhood's happy spring, 
Be hard on us, 
Be hard on us, 

If we're inclined to dance and sing. 
Tra la la, etc. (Dancing) 

But youth, of course, etc. 


I think you ought to recollect 

You cannot show too much respect 

Towards the highly titled few; 

But nobody does, and why should you! 

That youth at us should have its fling, 

Is hard on us, 

Is hard on us; 
To our prerogative we cling 

So pardon us, 

So pardon us, 
If we decline to dance and sing. 

Tra la la, etc. (Dancing) 


But youth, of course, etc. 

(Exeunt all but YUM- YUM. Enter NANKI- 

NANKI: Yum- Yum, at last we are alone! I 
have sought you night and day for three 
weeks, in the belief that your guardian was 
beheaded, and I find that you are about to be 
married to him this afternoon! 

YUM: Alas, yes! 

NANKI: But you do not love him? 

YUM: Alas, no! 

NANKI: Modified rapture! But why do you 
not refuse him? 



YUM: What good would that do? He's my 
guardian, and he wouldn't let me marry you. 

NANKI: But I would wait until you were of 

YUM: You forget that in Japan girls do not 
arrive at years of discretion until they are fifty. 

NANKI: True; from seventeen to forty-nine 
are considered years of indiscretion. 

YUM: Besides a wandering minstrel, who 
plays a wind instrument outside tea-houses, is 
hardly a fitting husband for the ward of a Lord 
High Executioner. 

NANKI: But (Aside) Shall I tell her? 
Yes! She will not betray me! (Aloud) What 
if it should prove that, after all, I am no mu 

YUM: There! I was certain of it, directly 
I heard you play! 

NANKI: What if it should prove that I am 
no other than the son of his Majesty the 

YUM: The son of the Mikado! But why is 
your Highness disguised ? And what has your 
Highness done? And will your Highness 
promise never to do it again? 

NANKI: Some years ago I had the misfor 
tune to captivate Katisha, an elderly lady 
of my father's Court. She misconstrued my 
customary affability info expressions of affec 
tion, and claimed me in marriage, under 
my father's law. My father, the Lucius Juni- 
us Brutus of his race, ordered me to marry her 
within a week, or perish ignominiously on the 
scaffold. That night I fled his Court, and, 
assuming the disguise of a Second Trombone, 
I joined the band in which you found me when 
I had the happiness of seeing you! (Approach 
ing her) 

YUM: (retreating) If you please, I think 
your Highness had better not come too near. 
The laws against flirting are excessively severe. 

NANKI: But we are quite alone, and nobody 
can see us. 

YUM: Still, that doesn't make it right. To 
flirt is capital. 

NANKI: It is capital! 

YUM: And we must obey the law. 

NANKI: Deuce take the law! 
YUM: I wish it would, but it won't! 

NANKI: If it were not for that, how happy 
we might be! 

YUM: Happy indeed! 

NANKI: If it were not for the law, we should 
now be sitting side by side, like that. (Sits by 

YUM: Instead of being obliged to sit half a 
mile off, like that. (Crosses and sits at other 
side of stage) 

NANKI: We should be gazing into each 
other's eyes, like that. (Approaching and gaz 
ing at her sentimentally) 

YUM: Breathing sighs of unutterable love 
like that. (Sighing and gazing lovingly at him) 

NANKI: With our arms round each other's 
waists, like that. (Embracing her) 

YUM: Yes, if it wasn't for the law. 
NANKI: If it wasn't for the law. 

YUM: As it is, of course we couldn't do any 
thing of the kind. 

NANKI: Not for worlds! 

YUM: Being engaged to Ko-Ko, you know! 

NANKI: Being engaged to Ko-Ko! 

No. 9. "WEKE YOU NOT TO Ko-Ko 


NANKI: Were you not to Ko-Ko plighted, 

I would say in tender tone, 
"Loved one, let us be united 
Let us be each other's own!" 
I would merge all rank and station, 

Worldly sneers are naught to us, 
And, to mark my admiration, 
I would kiss you fondly thus 

(Kissing her) 

{ YUM : He would kiss me fondly thus 1 / ^ * x 
\ NANKI : I would kiss you fondly thus / ^ w *' 

YUM: But as I'm engaged to Ko-Ko, 
To embrace you thus, con/woco, 
Would distinctly be no gioco 9 
And for that I should get toco, 

BOTH: Toco, toco, toco, toco! 



NANKI: So, in spite of all temptation, 

Such a theme I'll not discuss, 
And on no consideration 

Will I kiss you fondly thus 

(Kissing her) 

Let me make it clear to you, 
This is what I'll never do, 

This, oh, this oh, this oh, this 
(Kissing her) 
BOTH: This, oh, this etc. 

(Exeunt in opposite directions. Enter Ko- 

Ko: (looking after YUM- YUM) There she 
goes ! To think how entirely my future happi 
ness is wrapped up in that little parcel! Real 
ly, it hardly seems worth while! Oh, matri 
mony! -(Enter POOH-BAH and PiSH-Tusn.) 
Now then, what is it? Can't you see I'm soli- 
oquizing? You have interrupted an apostro 
phe, sir! 

PISH: I am the bearer of a letter from his 
Majesty, the Mikado. 

Ko: (taking it from him reverentially) A 
letter from the Mikado! What in the world 
can he have to say to me? (Reads letter) Ah, 
here it is at last! I thought it would come 
sooner or later! The Mikado is struck by the 
fact that no executions have taken place hi 
Titipu for a year, and decrees that unless some 
body is beheaded within one month, the post 
of Lord High Executioner shall be abolished, 
and the city reduced to the rank of a village! 

PISH: But that will involve us all in irre 
trievable ruin! 

Ko: Yes. There is no help for it, I shall 
have to execute somebody at once. The only 
question is, who shall it be? 

POOH: Well, it seems unkind to say so, but 
as you're already under sentence of death for 
flirting, everything seems to point to you. 

Ko: To me? What are you talking about? 
I can't execute myself. 

POOH: Why not? 

Ko: Why not? Because, in the first place, 
self-decapitation is an extremely difficult, not 
to say dangerous, thing to attempt; and, in 
the second, it's suicide, and suicide is a capital 

POOH: That is so, no doubt. 

PISH: We might reserve that point. 

POOH: True, it could be argued six months 
hence, before the full Court. 

Ko: Besides, I don't see how a man can cut 
off his own head. 

POOH: A man might try. 

PISH: Even if you only succeeded in cutting 
it half off, that would be something. 

POOH: It would be taken as an earnest of 
your desire to comply with the Imperial will. 

Ko: No. Pardon me, but there I am ada 
mant. As official Headsman, my reputation is 
at stake, and I can't consent to embark on a 
professional operation unless I see my way to 
a successful result. 

POOH: This professional conscientiousness 
is highly creditable to you, but it places us in a 
very awkward position. 

Ko: My good sir, the awkwardness of your 
position is grace itself compared with that of a 
man engaged in the act of cutting off his own 

PISH: I am afraid that, unless you can ob 
tain a substitute 

Ko: A substitute? Oh, certainly nothing 
easier. (To POOH-BAH) Pooh-Bah, I appoint 
you Lord High Substitute. 

POOH: I should be delighted. Such an ap 
pointment would realize my fondest dreams. 
But no, at any sacrifice, I must set bounds to 
my insatiable ambition! 

No. 10. "I AM so PROUD" 

POOH-BAH, Ko-Ko, and Pisn-Tusn 

POOH : I am so proud, 
If I allowed 
My family pride 
To be my guide, 
Fd volunteer 
To quit this sphere, 
Instead of you, 
In a minute or two. 
But family pride 
Must be denied, 
And set aside, 
And mortified. 



Ko: My brain it teems 

With endless schemes, 
Both good and new, 
For Titipu; 
But if I flit, 
The benefit 
That I'd diffuse 
The town would lose! 
Now every man 
To aid his clan 
Should plot ajad plan 
As best he can. 

PISH : I heard one day 
A gentleman say 
That criminals who 
Are cut in two 
Can hardly feel 
The fatal steel, 
And so are slain 
Without much pain. 
If this is true, 
It's jolly for you; 
Your courage screw 
To bid us adieu. 

[POOH: I am so proud, etc. 
Ko: My brain it teems, etc. 
PISH: I heard one day, etc. 

Ko: And so, 
I'm ready to go, 
Yet recollect 
'Twere disrespect 
Did I neglect 
Tophus effect 
This aim direct, 
So I object 

POOH: And so, 
I wish to go, 
And greatly pine 
To brightly shine, 
And take the line 
Of a hero fine, 
With grief condign 
I must decline 

PISH: And go 

And show 
Both friend and foe 
How much you dare. 
I'm quite aware 

It's your affair, 

Yet I declare 

I'd take your share, 

But I don't much care 

Ko: So I object 
POOH: I must decline 

PISH: I'd take your share, 

But I don't much care 

TRIO: To sit in solemn silence in a dull, dark 

In a pestilential prison, with a life-long 

Awaiting the sensation of a short, sharp 

From a cheap and chippy chopper on a 

big black block! 
(Exeunt POOH-BAH and Pisn-TusH.) 

Ko: This is simply appalling! I, who al 
lowed myself to be respited at the last moment, 
simply in order to benefit my native town, am 
now required to die within a month, and that 
by a man whom I have loaded with honours ! 
Is this public gratitude? Is this (Enter 
NANKJ-POO, with a rope in his hands.) Go 
away, sir! How dare you? Am I never to be 
permitted to soliloquize? 

NANKI: Oh, go on don't mind me. 

Ko: What are you going to do with that 

NANKI: I'm about to terminate an unendur 
able existence. 

Ko: Terminate your existence? Oh, non 
sense! What for? 

NANKI: Because you are going to marry the 
girl I adore. 

Ko: Nonsense, sir. I won't permit it. I 
am a humane man; and if you attempt any 
thing of the kind, I shall order your instant 
arrest. Come, sir, desist at once, or I sum 
mon my guard. 

NANKI: That's absurd. If you attempt to 
raise an alarm, I instantly perform the Happy 
Despatch with this dagger. 

Ko : No, no, don't do that. This is horrible ! 
(Suddenly) Why, you cold-blooded scoundrel, 
are you aware that, in taking your life, you 
are committing a crime which which which 
is Oh! (Struck ly. an idea) Substitute! 



NANKI: What's the matter? 

Ko: Is it absolutely certain that you are re 
solved to die? 

NANKI: Absolutely! 

Ko: Will nothing shake your resolution? 

NANKI: Nothing. 

Ko: Threats, entreaties, prayers -all use 

NANKI: All! My mind is made up. 

Ko : Then, if you really mean what you say? 
and if you are absolutely resolved to die, and 
if nothing whatever will shake your determin 
ation don't spoil yourself by committing 
suicide, but be beheaded handsomely at the 
hands of the Public Executioner! 

NANKI: I don't see how that would benefit 

Ko: You don't? Observe: you'll have a 
month to live, and you'll live like a fighting 
cock at my expense. When the day comes, 
there'll be a grand public ceremonial you'll be 
the central figure no one will attempt to de 
prive you of that distinction. There'll be a pro 
cession bands dead-march bells tolling 
all the girls in tears Yum- Yum distracted 
then, when it's all over, general rejoicings, and 
a display of. fire works in the evening. You 
won't see them, but they'll be there all the 

NANKI: Do you think Yum- Yum would 
really be distracted at my death? 

Ko : I am convinced of it. Bless you, she's 
the most tender-hearted little creature alive. 

NANKI: I should be sorry to cause her pain. 
Perhaps, after all, if I were to withdraw from 
Japan, and travel in Europe for a couple of 
years, I might contrive to forget her. 

Ko: Oh, I don't think you could forget 
Yum- Yum so easily; and, after all, what is 
more miserable than a love-blighted life? 

NANKI: True. 

Ko: Life without Yum-Yum why, it seems 

NANKI: And yet there are a good many peo 
ple in the world who have to endure it. 

Ko: Poor devils, yes! You are quite right 
not to be of their number. 

NANKI: (suddenly) I won't be of their 

Ko: Noble-fellow! 

NANKI: I'll tell you how we'll manage it. 
Let me marry Yum-Yum to-morrow, and in a 
month you may behead me. 

Ko : No, no. I draw the line at Yum-Yum. 

NANKI: Very good. If you can draw the 
line, so can I.. (Preparing rope) 

Ko : Stop, stop listen one moment be rea 
sonable. How can I consent to your marrying 
Yum-Yum if I'm going to marry her myself? 

NANKI: My good friend, she'll be a widow in 
a month, and you can marry her then. 

Ko: That's true, of course. I quite see 
that. But, dear me! my position during the 
next month will be most unpleasant -most un 

NANKI: Not half so unpleasant as my posi 
tion at the end of it. 

Ko: But dear me! well I agree after 
all, it's only putting off my wedding for a 
month. But you won't prejudice her against 
me, will you? You see, I've educated her to be 
my wife; she's been taught to regard me as a 
wise and good man. Now I shouldn't like her 
views on that point disturbed. 

NANKI: Trust me, she shall never learn the 
truth from me. 





Finale of Act I 


CHORUS: With aspect stern 

And gloomy stride, 
We come to learn 
How you decide. 

Don't hesitate 

Your choice to name, 
A dreadful fate 

You'll suffer all the same. 

POOH: To ask you what you mean to do, 
we punctually appear. 

Ko: Congratulate me, gentlemen, I've 

found a Volunteer! 

CHORUS: The Japanese equivalent for Hear, 
Hear, Hear! 



Ko: (presenting him) Tis Nanki-Poo! 
CHORUS: Hail, Nanki-Poo! 

Ko: I think hell do? 

CHORUS: Yes, yes, he'll do! 

Ko: He yields his life if I'll Yum- Yum sm> 

. render; 
Now I adore that girl with passion 


And could not yield her with a ready will, 
Or her allot, 
If I did not 

Adore myself with passion tenderer still! 
(Enter YUM- YUM, PEEP-BO, and PiTTi-SiNG.) 
CHORUS: Ah, yes, 

He loves himself with passion tenderer 


Ko: (to NANKI-POO) Take her she's yours! 

(Exit Ko-Ko.) 
NANKI: The threatened cloud has passed 


YUM: And brightly shines the dawning 

NANKI: What though the night may come 
too soon, 

YUM: There's yet a month of afternoon! 

Then let the throng 
Our joy advance, 
With laughing song 
And merry dance, 

ALL: With joyous shout and ringing cheer, 

Inaugurate their brief career! 
PITTI : A day, a week, a month, a year 
YUM : Or far or near, or far or near, 
POOH: Life's eventide comes much too soon, 
PITTI: You'll live at least a honeymoon! 

POOH: As in a month youVe got to die, 

If Ko-Ko tells us true, 
Twere empty compliment to cry, 

"Long life to Nanki-Poo!" 
But as one month you have to live 

As fellow-citizen, 
This toast with three times three we'll 

"Long life to you -till then!" 

(Exit, POOH-BAH.) 

CHORUS: May all good fortune prosper you, 
May you have health and riches, 


May you succeed in all you do! 
Long life to you till then! 

(Enter KATISHA, melodramatically.) 


KAT. : Your revels cease! Assist me, all of you! 
CHORUS: Why, who is this whose evil eyes 

Rain blight on our festivities? 
KAT.: I claim my perjured lover, Nanki-Poo! 
Oh, fool! to shun delights that never 

CHORUS : Go, leave thy deadly work undone ! 

KAT. : Come back, oh, shallow fool, come back 
to joy! 

CHORUS: Away! away! ill-favoured one! 

NANKI: (aside to YUM- YUM) 

Ah! Tis Katisha, 

The maid of whom I told you. 

(About to go) 
KAT.: (detaining him) 

No! You shall not go, 

These arms shall thus enfold you! 


KAT. : (addressing NANKI-POO) 
Oh fool, that fleest 

My hallowed joys! 
Oh blind, that seest 

No equipoise! 
Oh rash, that judgest 

From half, the whole! 
Oh base, that grudgest 
Love's lightest dole! 
Thy heart unbind, 
Oh fool, oh blind! 
Give me ray place, 
Oh rash, oh base! 

ALL: If she's thy bride, restore her place, 
Oh fool, oh blind, oh rash, oh base! 
KAT.: (addressing YUM- YUM) 
Pink cheek, that rulest 

Where wisdom serves! 
Bright eye, that foolest 

Heroic nerves! 
Hose lip, that scornest 

Lore-laden years! 
Smooth tongue, that warnest 

Who rightly hears! 



Thy doom is nigh, 
Pink cheek, bright eye! 
Thy knell is rung, 
Rose lip, smooth tongue! 
ALL: If true her tale, thy knell is rung, 

Pink cheek, bright eye, rose lip, smooth 

PITTI: Away, nor prosecute your quest 

From our intention, well expressed, 

You cannot turn us! 
The state of your connubial views 
Towards the person you accuse 

Does not concern us! 
For he's going to marry Yum- Yum 
ALL : Yum- Yum ! 
PITTI: Your anger pray bury, 

For all will be merry, 
I think you had better succumb 
ALL : Cumb cumb ! 
PITTI: And join our expressions of glee. 

On this subject I pray you be dumb 
ALL: Dumb dumb! 
PITTI: You'll find there are many 
Who'll wed for a penny 
The word for your guidance is "Mum" 
ALL : Mum mum ! 
PITTI: There's lots of good fish in the sea! 
ALL: On this subject we pray you be dumb, 


KAT.: The hour of gladness 
Is dead and gone; 
In silent sadness 

I live alone! 
The hope I cherished 

All lifeless lies, 
And all has perished 

Save love, which never dies! 
Oh, faithless one, this insult you shall rue! 
In vain for mercy on your knees you'll sue. 
1*11 tear the mask from your disguising! 
NANKI: (aside) Now comes the blow! 
KAT.: Prepare yourselves for news surprising! 
NANKI: (aside) How foil my foe? 
KAT.: No minstrel he, despite bravado! 
YUM: (aside, struck by an idea) 
Ha! ha! I know! 
KAT.: He is the son of your 

(NANKi-Poo, YUM-YUM, and CHORUS, in 
terrupting, sing Japanese words, to drown her 

O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! 

KAT. : In vain you interrupt with this tornado ! 

He is the only son of your 
CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! 
KAT.: I'll spoil 

CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! 
KAT.: ^ your gay gambado! 

He is the son 

CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! 
KAT.: of your 

CHORUS: O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! 
KAT. : the son of your 

CHORUS- O ni! bikkuri shakkuri to! 

Oya, Oya! 
KAT.: Ye torrents roar! 

Ye tempests howl! 
Your wrath outpour 
With angry growl! 
Do ye your worst, my vengeance-call 
Shall rise triumphant over all! 
ALL: We'll hear no more, 

Ill-omened owl, 
To joy we soar, 

Despite your scowl; 
The echoes of our festival 
Shall rise triumphant over all! 
KAT. Prepare for woe, 

Ye haughty lords, 
At once I go 

Mikado- wards. 
ALL: Away you go, 

Collect your hordes; 
Proclaim your woe 
In dismal chords. 

YUM: We do not heed their dismal sound. 
NANKI: For joy reigns everywhere around. 
BOTH : The echoes of our festival 

Shall rise triumphant over all! 
CHORUS: We'll hear no more,, 

Ill-omened owl, 
To joy we soar, 
Despite your scowl! 

KAT.: My wrongs with vengeance shall be 


ALL: We do not heed their dismal sound, 
For joy reigns everywhere around! 

(KATISHA rushes furiously up-stage 9 clearing 
the crowd away right and left, finishing on steps 
at the back of stage.) 





SCENE: Ko-Ko's Garden. YUM- YUM dis 
covered seeded at her boudoir table, surrounded by 
maidens, who are dressing her hair and painting 
her face and lips, as she judges the effect in a 


Opening Chorus and Solo 

Prrri-SiNG and GIBLS 

CHORUS: Braid the raven hair 

Weave the supple tress 
Deck the maiden fair 

In her loveliness 
Paint the pretty face 

Dye the coral lip 
Emphasize the grace 

Of her ladyship! 
Art and nature, thus allied, 
Go to make a pretty bride. 

PITTI-SING: Sit with downcast eye ' 

Let it brim with dew 
Try if you can cry 

We will do so, too. . 
When you're summoned, start 

Like a frightened roe > 
Flutter, little heart, 

Colour, come and go! 
Modesty at marriage-tide 
Well becomes a pretty bride. 

CHORUS: Braid the raven hair, etc. 

YUM: Yes, I am indeed beautiful ! Some 
times I sit and wonder, in my artless Japanese 
way, why it is that I am so much more attrac 
tive than anybody else in the whole world. 
Can this be vanity? No! Nature is lovely 
and rejoices in her loveliness. I am a child of 
Nature, and take after my mother. 



The sun, whose rays 
Are all ablaze 

With ever-living glory, 
Does not deny 
His majesty 

He scorns to tell a story! 

He won't exclaim, 
"I blush for shame, 

So kindly be indulgent"; 
But, fierce and bold, 
In fiery gold, 

He glories all effulgent. 

I mean to rule the earth, 

As he the sky 
We really know our worth, 

The sun and I! 

Observe his flame, 
That placid dame, 

The moon's Celestial Highness; 
There's not a trace 
Upon her face 

Of diffidence or shyness: 
She borrows light 
That, through the night, 

Mankind may all acclaim her! 
And, truth to tell, 
She lights up well; 

So I, for one, don't blame her. 

Ah, pray make no mistake, 

We are not shy; 
We're very wide awake, 

The moon and I! 

(Enter PITTI-SING and PEEP-BO.) 

YUM: Yes, everything seems to smile upon 
me. I am to be married to-day to the man I 
love best, and I believe I am the very happiest 
girl in Japan! 

PEEP: The happiest girl indeed, for she is 
indeed to be envied who has attained happi 
ness in all but perfection. 

YUM: In "all but" perfection? 

PEEP: Well, dear, it can't be denied that 
the fact that your husband is to be beheaded 
in a month is, in its way, a drawback. It does 
seem to take the top off it, you know. 

PITTI: I don't know about that. It all 

PEEP: At all events, he will find it a draw 

PITTI: Not necessarily, 

Bless you, it all de- 


YUM: (in tears) I tkink it very indelicate 
of you to refer to such a subject on such a day. 
If my married happiness is to be to be 

PEEP: Cut short. 

YUM: Well, cut short in a month, can't 
you let me forget it? (Weeping) 

(Enter NANKI-POO, followed by PisH-Tusn.) 

NANKI: Yum- Yum in tears and on her 

YUM: (sobbing) They've been reminding 
me that in a month you're to be beheaded! 
(Bursts into tears) 

PITTI: Yes, we've been reminding her that 
you're to be beheaded. (Bursts into tears) 

PEEP: It's quite true, you know, you are to 
be beheaded! (Bursts into tears) 

NANKI: (aside) Humph! How some bride 
grooms would be depressed by this sort of 
thing! (Aloud) A month? Well, what's a 
month? Bah! These divisions of time are 
purely arbitrary. Who says twenty-four hours 
make a day? 

PITTI: There's a popular impression to that 

NANKI : Then we'll efface it. We'll call each 
second a minute each minute an hour each 
hour a day and each day a year. At that rate 
we've about thirty years of married happiness 
before us! 

PEEP: And, at that rate, this interview has 
already lasted four hours and three-quarters! 

(Exit PEEP-BO.) 

YUM: (still sobbing) Yes. How time flies 
when one is thoroughly enjoying oneself! 

NANEJ: That's the way to look at it! Don't 
let's be downhearted! There's a silver lining 
to every cloud. 

YUM: Certainly. Let's let's be perfectly 
happy! (Almost in tears) 

PISH: By all means. Let's let's thoroughly 
enjoy ourselves. 

PITTI: It's it's absurd to cry! (Trying to 
force a laugh) 

YUM: Quite ridiculous! (Trying to laugh) 
(All break into a forced and melancholy laugh.} 




Brightly dawns our wedding day; 

Joyous hour, we give thee greeting! 

Whither, whither art thou fleeting? 
Fickle moment, prithee stay! 

What though mortal joys be hollow? 

Pleasures come, if sorrows follow: 
Though the tocsin sound, ere long, 
Ding dong! Ding dong! 

Yet until the shadows fall 

Over one and over all, 

Sing a merry madrigal: 
Fa la, Fa la, etc. 

Let us dry the ready tear, 

Though the hours are surely creeping, 

Little need for woeful weeping, 
Till the sad sundown is near. 

All must sip the cup of sorrow 

I to-day, and thou to-morrow : 
This the close of every song, 
Ding dong! Ding dong! 

What though solemn shadows fall, 

Sooner, later, over all, 

Sing a merry madrigal: 
Fa la, Fa la, etc. (Ending in tears) 

(Exeunt PITTI-SING and Pisn-TusH.) 

embraces YuM-YuM, ,Enter 
Ko-Ko. NANKI-POO releases YUM- YUM.) 

Ko: Go on don't mind me. 

NANKI: I'm afraid we're distressing you. 

Ko: Never mind, I must get used to it. 
Only please do it by degrees. Begin by putting 
your arm around her waist. (NANKi-Poo does 
so.) There! let me get used to that first. 

YUM: Oh, wouldn't you like to retire? It 
must pain you to see us so affectionate 

Ko: No, I must learn to bear it! Now oblige 
me by allowing her head to rest on your shoul 

NANKI: Like that? (He does so. Ko-Ko is 
much affected.) 

Ko: I am much obliged to you. Now kiss 
her! (He does so. Ko-Ko writhes wiih anguish.) 
Thank you it's simple torture! 


YUM: Come, come, bear up. After all, it's 
only for a month. 

Ko: No. It's no use deluding oneself with 
false hopes. 

NANKI and YUM: What do you mean? 

Ko: (to YUM- YUM) My child my poor 
child! (Aside) How shall I break it to her? 
(Aloud) My little bride that was to have 

YUM: (delighted) Was to have been? 
Ko: Yes, you never can be mine! 

NANKI: \,. , N f What! 
YTTM: ) <* *> { I' m so glad-! 

Ko: Fve just ascertained that, by the 
Mikado's law, when a married man is be 
headed his wife is buried alive. 

NANKI and YUM: Buried alive! 

Ko: Buried alive. It's a most unpleasant 

NANKI: But whom did you get that from? 

Ko: Oh, from Pooh-Bah. He's my solici 

YUM: But he may be mistaken! 

Ko: So I thought; so I consulted the At 
torney-General, the Lord Chief Justice, the 
Master of the Rolls, the Judge Ordinary, and 
the Lord Chancellor. They're all of the same 
opinion. Never knew such unanimity on a 
point of law in my life! 

NANKI: But stop a bit! This law has never 
been put in force. 

Ko: Not yet. You see, flirting is the only 
crime punishable with decapitation,' and 
married men never flirt. 

NANKI: Of course, they don't. I quite for 
got that! Well, I suppose I may take it that 
my dream of happiness Is at an end! 

YUM: Darling I don't want to appear sel 
fish, and I love you with all my heart I don't 
suppose I shall ever love anybody else half as 
much 'but when I agreed to marry you my 
own I had no idea pet that I should have 
to be buried alive in a month! 

NANKI: Nor I! It's the very first I've heard 
or it! 

YUM: It it makes a difference, doesn't it? 

NANKI: It does make a difference, of course. 

YUM: You see -burial alive -it's such a 
stuffy death. 

NANKI: I call it a beast of a death. 
YUM: You see my difficulty, don't you? 

NANKI: Yes, and I see my own. If I insist 
on your carrying out your promise, I doom you 
to a hideous death; if I release you, you marry 
Ko-Ko at once. 

No. 15. "HEBE'S A HOW-DE-DO!" 


YUM: Here's a how-de-do! 

If I marry you, 

When your time has come to perish, 
Then the maiden whom you cherish 

Must be slaughtered, too! 

Here's a how-de-do! 

NANKI : Here's a pretty mess ! 

In a month, or less, 
I must die without a wedding! 
Let the bitter tears I'm shedding 

Witness my distress, 

Here's a pretty mess! 

Ko: Here's a state of things! 

To her life she clings! 
Matrimonial devotion 
Doesn't seem to suit her notion 

Burial it brings! 

Here's a state of things! 

TKIO: With a passion that's intense 

I \ 

You } worship and adore, 

But the laws of common sense 

We 1 

You i oa Sktn*t to ignore 

'Tis death to marry you! 
Here's a pretty state of things! 
Here's a pretty how-de-do! 
(Exit YUM- YUM.) 

Ko: (going up to NANKI-?OO) My poor boy, 
I'm really very sorry for you. 

NANKI: Thanks, old fellow. I'm sure you 

Ko: You see I'm quite helpless. 


NANKI: I quite see that. 

Ko: I can't conceive anything more dis 
tressing than to have one's marriage broken 
off at the last moment. But you shan't be 
disappointed of a wedding you shall come to 

NANKI: It's awfully kind of you, but that 

Ko: Why so? 
NANKI: To-day I die. 
Ko: What do you mean? 

NANKI: I can't live without Yum- Yum- 
This afternoon I perform the Happy Despatch* 

Ko: No, no pardon me I can't allow 

NANKI: Why not? 

Ko : Why, hang it all, you're under contract 
to die by the hand of the Public Executioner 
in a month's time! If you kill yourself, what's 
to become of me? Why, I shall have to be 
executed in your place! 

NANKI: It would certainly seem so! 

(Enter POOH-BAH.) 
Ko: Now then, Lord Mayor, what is it? 

POOH: The Mikado and his suite are ap 
proaching the city, and will be here in ten 

Ko: The Mikado! He's coming to see 
whether his orders have been carried out! (To 
NANKI-POO) Now look here, you know this 
is getting serious a bargain's a bargain, and 
you really mustn't frustrate the ends of justice 
by committing suicide. As a man of honour 
and a gentleman, you are bound to die ignomin- 
iously by the hands of the Public Executioner. 

NANKI: Very well, then behead me. 

Ko: What, now? 

NANKI: Certainly; at once. 

POOH: Chop it off! Chop it off! 

Ko: My good sir, I don't go about prepared 
to execute gentlemen at a moment's notice. 
Why, I never even killed a blue-bottle! 

POOH: Still, as Lord High Executioner 

Ko: My good sir, as Lord High Executioner 
I've got to behead him in a month. I'm 
not ready yet. I don't know how it*s done. 
I'm going to take lessons. I mean to begin 

with a guinea pig, and work my way through 
the animal kingdom till I come to a Second 
Trombone. Why, you don't suppose that, as 
a humane man, I'd have accepted the post of 
Lord High Executioner if I hadn't thought the 
duties purely nominal? I can't kill you I 
can't kill anything! I can't kill anybody! 

NANKI: Come, my poor fellow, we all have 
unpleasant duties to discharge at times; after 
all, what is it? If I don't mind, why should 
you? Remember, sooner or later it must be 

Ko: (springing up suddenly) Must it? I'm 
not so sure about that! 

NANKI: What do you mean? 

Ko : Why should I kill you when making an 
affidavit that you've been executed will do just 
as well? Here are plenty of witnesses the 
Lord Chief Justice, Lord High Admiral, Com- 
mander-in-Chief, Secretary of State for the 
Home Department, First Lord of the Treasury, 
and Chief Commissioner of Police. 

NANKI: But where are they? 

Ko: There they are. They'll all swear to it 
won't you? (To POOH-BAH) 

POOH: Am I to understand that all of us 
high Officers of State are required to perjure 
ourselves to ensure your safety! 

Ko: Why not? You'll be grossly insulted, 
as usual. 

POOH: Will the insult be cash down, or at 
a date? 

Ko: It will be a ready-money transaction. 

POOH: (aside) Well, it will be a useful 
discipline. (Aloud) Very good. Choose your 
fiction/and I'll endorse it! (Aside) Ha! ha! 
Family Pride, how do you like that, my buck? 

NANKI : But I tell you that life without Yum- 

Ko: Oh, Yum- Yum, Yum- Yum! Bother 
Yum- Yum! Here, Commissionaire (to POOH- 
BAH), go and fetch Yum- Yum. (Exit POOH- 
BAH.) Take Yum- Yum and marry Yum- Yum, 
only go away and never come back again. (En- 
ter POOH-BAH with YUM- YUM.) Here she is. 
Yum- Yum, are you particularly busy? 

YUM: Not particularly. 


Ko: You've five minutes to spare? 
YUM: Yes. 

Ko: Then go along with his Grace the 
Archbishop of Titipu; he'll marry you at once. 

YUM: But if I'm to be buried alive? 

Ko: Now, don't ask any questions, but do 
as I tell you, and Nanki-Poo will explain all. 

NANKI: But one moment 

Ko: Not for worlds. Here comes the Mika 
do, no doubt to ascertain whether I've obeyed 
his decree; and if he finds you alive I shall 
have the greatest difficulty in persuading him 
that I've beheaded you. (Exeunt NANKI-?OO 
and YUM- YUM, followed by POOH-BAH.) Close 
thing that, for here he comes! (Exit Ko-Ko. 
Enter procession, heralding MIKADO, with 

No. 16. "Mi-YA SA-MA" 
March of the Mikado's Troops, Chorus, and 

Duet . 

CHOBUS: Mi-ya sa-ma, mi-ya sa-ma, 
On n'm-ma no maye ni 
Pira Pira suru no wa 
Nan gia na 
Toko tonyare tonyare na! 

MIK. : From every kind of man 

Obedience I expect; 
I'm the Emperor of Japan 
KAT. : And I'm his daughter-in-law elect ! 

He'll marry his son 
(He's only got one) 
To his daughter-in-law elect. 

MIK.: My morals have been declared 
Particularly correct ; 

KAT. : But they're nothing at all, compared 
With those of his daughter-in-law 


Bow 'Bow 
To his daughter-in-law elect. 

CHORUS: Bow Bow 

To his daughter-in-law elect. 

MIK.: In a fatherly kind of way 

I govern each tribe and sect, 
All cheerfully own my sway 
KAT. : Except his daughter-in-law elect! 

As tough as a bone, 

With a will of her own, 
Is his daughter-in-law elect. 

MIK. : My nature is love and light 

My freedom from all defect 

KAT. : Is insignificant quite. 

Compared with his daughter-in- 
law elect! 
Bow Bow 

To his daughter-in-law elect. 
CHORUS: Bow Bow 

To his daughter-in-law elect. 


Solo and Chorus 

MIK.: A more humane Mikado never 
Did in Japan exist, 
To nobody second, 
I'm certainly reckoned 
A true philanthropist. 
It is my very humane endeavour 
To make, to some extent, 
Each evil liver 
A running river 
Of harmless merriment. 
My object all sublime 
I shall achieve in time 
To let the punishment fit the 


The punishment fit the crime; 
And make each prisoner pent 
Unwillingly represent 
A source of innocent merri 
Of innocent merriment! 

All prosy dull society sinners, 
Who chatter and bleat and bore, 
Are sent to hear sermons 
From mystical Germans 
Who preach from ten till four. 
The amateur tenor, whose vocal 

All desire to shirk, 

Shall, during off-hours, 
Exhibit his powers 
To Madame Tussaud's waxwork 
The lady who dyes a chemical yellow, 
Or stains her grey hair puce, 
Or pinches her figger, 
Is blacked like a nigger 
With permanent walnut juice. 
The idiot who, in railway carriages, 


Scribbles on window-panes, 
We only suffer 
To ride on a buffer 

In Parliamentary trains. 

My object all sublime, etc. 

CHORUS: His object all sublime, etc. 

The advertising quack who wearies 
With tales of countless cures, 
His teeth, I've enacted, 
Shall all be extracted 
By terrified amateurs. 
The music-hall singer attends a series 
Of masses and fugues and "ops" 
By Bach, interwoven 
With Spohr and Beethoven, 
At classical Monday Pops. 
The billiard-sharp whom anyone 


His doom's extremely hard 
He's made to dwell 
In a dungeon cell 
On a spot that's always barred. 
And there he plays extravagant 


In fitless finger-stalls, 
On a cloth untrue, 
With a twisted cue 
And elliptical billiard balls. 

My object all sublime* etc. 

CHORUS: His object all sublime, etc. 

(Enter POOH-BAH, Ko-Ko, and PrrTi-SiNG. 
All kneel. POOH-BAH hands a paper to Ko-Ko.) 

Ko: I am honoured in being permitted to 
welcome your Majesty. I guess the object of 
your Majesty's visit your wishes have been 
attended to. The execution has taken place. 

MTK.: Oh, youVe had an execution, have 

Ko: Yes. n The Coroner has just handed me 
his certificate. 

POOH: I am the Coroner. (Ko-Ko hands 
certificate to MIKADO.) 

MIK.: And this is the certificate of his 
death. (Reads) "At Titipu, in the presence 
of the Lord Chancellor, Lord Chief Justice, 
Attorney General, Secretary of State for the 
Home Department, Lord Mayor, and Groom 
of the Second Floor Front' 5 

POOH: They were all present, your Majesty. 
I counted them myself. 

MIK. : Very good house. I wish I'd been 
in time for the performance. 

Ko: A tough fellow he was, too -a man of 
gigantic strength. His struggles were terrific. 
It was really a remarkable scene. 

MIK. : Describe it. 


Trio and Chorus 


Ko: The criminal cried, as he dropped him 


In a state of wild alarm 
With a frightful, frantic, fearful frown, 

I bared my big right arm. 
I seized him by his little pig-tail, 
And on his knees fell he, 

As he squirmed and struggled, 
And gurgled and guggled, 
I drew my snickersnee! 
Oh, never shall I 
Forget the cry, 

Or the shriek that shrieked he, 
As I gnashed my teeth, 
When from its sheath 
I drew my snickersnee! 

CHORUS: We know him well, 

He cannot tell 
Untrue or groundless tales 

He always tries 

To utter lies, 
And every time he fails. 

PITTI: He shivered and shook as he gave the 


For the stroke he didn't deserve; 
When all of a sudden his eye met mine, 

And it seemed to brace his nerve; 
For he nodded his head and kissed his 


And he whistled an air, did he, 
As the sabre true 
Cut cleanly through 
His cervical vertebrae! 
When a man's afraid, 
A beautiful maid 
Is a cheering sight to see; 
And it's oh, I'm glad 
That moment sad 
Was soothed by sight of me! 


CHORUS: Her terrible tale 

You can't assail, 
With, truth it quite agrees; 

Her taste exact 

For faultless fact 
Amounts to a disease. 

POOH: Now though you'd have said that head 

was dead 

(For" its owner dead was lie), 
It stood on its neck, with a smile well 


And bowed three time to me! 
It was none of your impudent off-hand 


But as humble as could be; 
For it clearly knew 
The deference due 
To a man of pedigree! 
And it's oh, I vow, 
This deathly bow 
Was a touching sight to see; 
Though trunkless, yet 
It couldn't forget 
The deference due to me! 

CHORUS: This haughty youth, 

He speaks the truth 
Whenever he finds it pays; 

And in this case 

It all took place 
Exactly as he says! 

ALL : Exactly as he says ! (Exeunt CHOBUS.) 

MJK.: All this is very interesting, and I 
should like to have seen it. But we came about 
a totally different matter. A year ago my son, 
the heir to the throne of Japan, bolted from 
our Imperial Court. 

Ko: Indeed! Had he any reason to be dis 
satisfied with his position? 

KAT. : None whatever. On the contrary, I 
was going to marry him yet he fled! 

POOH: I am surprised that he should have 
fled from one so lovely! 

KAT.: That's not true. 
POOH: No! 

KAT. : You hold that I am not beautiful be 
cause my face is plain. But you know noth 
ing; you are still unenlightened. Learn, then, 
that it is not in the face alone that beauty is. to 
be sought. My face is unattractive! 

POOH: It is. 

KAT. : But I have a left shoulder-blade that 
is a miracle of loveliness. People come miles 
to see it. My right elbow has a fascination 
that few can resist. 

POOH: Allow me! 

KAT. : It is on view Tuesdays and Fridays, 
on presentation of visiting card. As for my 
circulation, it is the largest in the world. 
Observe this ear. 

Ko: Large, 

KAT.: Large? Enormous! But think of its 
delicate internal mechanism. It is fraught 
with beauty! As for this tooth, it almost 
stands alone. Many have tried to draw it, 
but in vain. 

>Ko: And yet he fled! 

MIK.: And is now masquerading in this 
town, disguised as a Second Trombone. 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: A Second Trombone! 

MIK.: Yes; would it be troubling you too 
much if I asked you to produce him? He goes 
by the name of 

KAT.: Nanki-Poo. 
MIK.: Nanki-Poo. 

Ko : It's quite easy that is, it's rather dif 
ficult. In point of fact, he's gone abroad! 

MIK.: Gone abroad? His address! 
Ko: Knightsbridge! 

KAT.: (who is reading certificate of death) 

MIK.: What's the matter? 

KAT.: See here his name Nanki-Poo 
beheaded this morning. Oh, where shall I 
find another! Where shall I find another! 

(Ko-Ko, POOH-BAH, and Prra-SiNG/aK on 
their knee*.) 

MIK.: (looking at paper) Dear, dear, dear! 
this is very tiresome. (To Ko-Ko) My poor 
fellow, in your anxiety to carry out my wishes 
you have beheaded the heir to the throne of 

Ko: I beg to offer an unqualified apology. 

POOH: I desire to associate myself with 
that expression of regret. 


PITTI: We really hadn't the least notion 

MIK.: Of course you hadn't. How could 
you? Come, come, my good fellow, don't dis 
tress yourself it was no fault of yours. If a 
man of exalted rank chooses to disguise him 
self as a Second Trombone, he must take the 
consequences. It really distresses me to see 
you take on so. I've no doubt he thoroughly 
deserved all he got. (They rise.) 

Ko: We are infinitely obliged to your 

PITTI: Much obliged, your Majesty. 

POOH: Very much obliged, your Majesty. 

MIK.: Obliged? not a bit. Don't mention 
it. How could you tell? 

POOH: No, of course we couldn't tell who 
the gentleman really was. 

PITTI: It wasn't written on his forehead, 
you know. 

Ko : It might have been on his pocket-hand 
kerchief, but Japanese don't use pocket-hand 
kerchiefs! Ha! ha! ha! 

Mm.: Ha! ha! ha! (To KATISHA) I forget 
the punishment for compassing the death of 
the Heir Apparent. 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Punishment! (They 
drop down on their knees again.} 

MIK.: Yes. Something lingering, with 
boiling oil in it, I fancy. Something of that 
sort. I think boiling oil occurs in it, but I'm 
not sure. I know it's something humorous, 
but lingering, with either boiling oil or melted 
lead. Come, come, don't fret 'I'm not a bit 

Ko: (in abject terror) If your Majesty will 
accept our assurance, we had no idea- 
Mix. : Of course i 
PITTI: I knew nothing about it. 
POOH: I wasn't there. 

MIK.: That's the pathetic part of it. Un 
fortunately, the fool of an Act says "compass 
ing the death of the Heir Apparent". There's 
not a word about a mistake 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: No! 

MIK. : Or not knowing 

Ko: No! 

MIK. : Or having no notion 


MIK: Or not being there 

POOH: No! 

MIK.: There should be, of course 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Yes! 

MIK. : But there isn't. 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Oh! 

Mik.: That's the slovenly way in which 
these Acts are always drawn. However, 
cheer up, it'll be all right. I'll have it altered 
next session. Now, let's see about your 
execution will after luncheon suit you? Can 
you wait till then? 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: Oh, yes we can 
wait till then! 

MIK. : Then we'll make it after luncheon. 

POOH: I don't want any lunch. 

MIK.: I'm really very sorry for you all, 
but it's an unjust world, and virtue is trium 
phant only in theatrical performances. 




MJK.: See how the Fates their gifts allot, 
For A is happy, B is not. 
Yet B is worthy, I dare say, 
Of more prosperity than A. 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: 

Is B more worthy? 

KAT. : I should say 

He's worth a great deal more than A. 

QUINTET : Yet A is happy ! 
Oh, so happy! 

Laughing, Ha! ha! 

Chaffing, Ha! ha! 

Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha! 
Ever joyous, ever gay, 
Happy, undeserving A! 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: 

If I were Fortune which I'm not 
B should enjoy A's happy lot, 
And A should die in miserie 
That is, assuming I am B. 

MJK. and KAT.: But should A perish? 

Ko, POOH, and PITTI: 
That should he, 
(Of course, assuming I am B.) 


QUINTET: B should be happy! 
Oh, so happy! 

Laughing, Ha! ha! 
Chaffing, Ha! ha! 
Nectar quaffing, Ha! ha! ha! 
But condemned to die is he, 
Wretched meritorious B! 

(Exeunt MIKADO and KATISHA.) 
Ko: Well, a nice 1 mess you've got us into, 
with your nodding head and the deference due 
to a man of pedigree! 

POOH: Merely corroborative detail, in 
tended to give artistic verisimilitude to an 
otherwise bald and unconvincing narrative. 

PITTI: Corroborative detail indeed! Cor 
roborative fiddlestick! 

Ko: And you're just as bad as he is with 
your cock-and-a-bull stories about catching 
his eye and his whistling an air. But that's 
so like you! You must put in your oar! 
POOH: But how about your big right arm? 
PITTI: Yes, and your snickersnee! 
Ko: Well, well, never mind that now. 
There's only one thing to be done. NanM-Poo 
hasn't started yet -he must come to life again 
at once. (Enter NANKI-POO and YUM- YUM, 
prepared for journey.) Here he comes. Here, 
Nanki-Poo, I've good news for you you're 

NANKI: Oh, but it's too late. I'm a dead 
man, and I'm off for my honeymoon. 

Ko: Nonsense! A terrible thing has just 
happened. It seems you're the son of the 

NANKI: Yes, but that happened some time 

Ko: Is this a time for airy persiflage? Your 
father is here, and with Katisha! 

NANKI: My father! And with Katisha! 
Ko: Yes, he wants you particularly. 
POOH: So does she. 
YUM: Oh, but he's married now. 

Ko: But, bless my heart! what has that to 
do with it? 

NANKI: Katisha claims me in marriage, but 
I can't marry her because I'm married al 
readyconsequently she will insist on my 
execution; and if I'm executed, my wife will 
have to be buried alive* 

YUM: You see our difficulty. 

Ko: Yes. I don't know what's to be done. 

NANKI: There's one chance for you. If you 
could persuade Katisha to marry you, she 
would have no further claim on me, and in 
that case I could come to life without any fear 
of being put to death. 

Ko: I marry Katisha! 

YUM: I really think it's the only course. 

Ko: But, my good girl, have you seen her? 
She's something appalling! 

PITTI: Ah! that's only her face. She has a 
left elbow which people come miles to see! 

POOH: I am told that her right heel is much 
admired by connoisseurs. 

Ko: My good sir, I decline to pin my heart 
upon any lady's right heel. 

NANKI: It comes to this: while Katisha is 
single, I prefer to be a disembodied spirit. 
When Katisha is married, existence will be as 
welcome as the flowers in spring. 




NANKI: The flowers that bloom in the spring, 

Tra la, 

Breathe promise of merry sun 
As we merrily dance and we sing, 

Tra la, 
We welcome the hope that they bring, 

Tra la, 

Of a summer of roses and wine. 
And that's what we mean when we say 

that a thing 
Is welcome as flowers that bloom in 

the spring, 
Tra la la la la, etc. 

Tra la la la la, etc. 
Ko: The flowers that bloom in the spring, 

Tra la, 

Have nothing to do with the case. 
I've got to take under my wing, 

Tra la, 
A most unattractive old thing, 

Tra la, 
With a caricature of a face. 


And that's what I mean when I say, or 

I sing, 
"Oh, bother the flowers that bloom in 

the spring", 
Tra la la la la, etc. 

(Dance and exeunt NANKI-POO, YUM- YUM, 
POOH-BAH, PiTTi-SiNG, and Ko-Ko. Enter 

No. 21. 

Recitative and Song 

Alone, and yet alive! Oh, sepulchre! 
My soul is still my body's prisoner! 
Remote the peace that Death alone can give 
My doom, to wait! my punishment, to live! 


Hearts do not break! 
They sting and ache 
For old love's sake, 

But do not die, 
Though with each breath 
They long for death, 
As witnesseth 

The living I. 

Oh, living I! 
Come, tell me why, 

When hope is gone, 

Dost thou stay on? 

Why linger here, 

Where all is drear? 
Oh, living I! 
Come, tell me why, 

When hope is gone, 

Dost thou stay on? 
May not a cheated maiden die? 

Ko: (entering and approaching her timidly) 

KAT.: The miscreant who robbed me of my 
love! But vengeance pursues they are heat 
ing the cauldron! 

Ko: Katisha behold a suppliant at your 
feet! Katisha mercy! 

KAT.: Mercy? Had you mercy on him? 
See here, you! You have slain my love. He 
did not love me, but he would have loved me in 
time. I am an acquired taste only the edu 
cated palate can appreciate me. I was educat 
ing his palate when he left me. Well, he is 
dead, and where shall I find another? It takes 

years to train a man to love me. Am I to go 
through the weary round again, and, at the 
same time, implore mercy for you who robbed 
me of my prey -I mean my pupil just as his 
education was on the point of completion? Oh, 
where shall I find another? 

Ko: (suddenly, and urith great vehemence) 
Here! Here! 

KAT.: What! ! ! 

Ko: (with intense passion) Katisha, for 
years I have loved you with a white-hot pas 
sion that is slowly but surely consuming my 
very vitals ! Ah, shrink not from me ! If there 
is aught of woman's mercy in your heart, turn 
not away from a love-sick suppliant whose 
every fibre thrills at your tiniest touch! True 
it is that, under a poor mask of disgust, I have 
endeavoured to conceal a passion whose inner 
fires are broiling the soul within me. But the fire 
will not be smothered -it defies all attempts 
at extinction, and, breaking forth, all the more 
eagerly for its long restraint, it declares itself 
in words that will not be weighed 'that cannot 
be schooled that should not be too severely 
criticised. Katisha, I dare not hope for your 
love but I will not live without it ! Darling! 

KAT. : You, whose hands still reek with the 
blood of my betrothed, dare to address words 
of passion to the woman you have so foully 

Ko: I do -accept my love, or I perish on the 

KAT.: Goto! Who knows so well as I that 
no one ever yet died of a broken heart! 

Ko: You know not what you say. Listen! 



On a tree by a river a little torn-tit 

Sang, "Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!" 
And I said to him, "Dicky-bird, why do you 


Singing 'Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow'? 
Is it weakness of intellect, birdie?" I cried, 
"Or a rather tough worm in your little inside?" 
With a shake of his poor little head he replied, 
"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!" 

He slapped at his chest, as he sat on that 

Singing, "Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!" 



And a cold perspiration bespangled Ms brow, 
Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow! 

He sobbed and he sighed, and a gurgle he gave, 

Then he plunged himself into the billowy 

And an echo arose from the suicide's grave - 
"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!" 

Now I feel just as sure as I'm sure that my 

Isn't Willow, tit-willow, tit-willow, 
That 'twas blighted affection that made him 

"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!" 
And if you remain callous and obdurate, I 
Shall perish as he did, and you will know why, 
Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die, 

"Oh, willow, tit-willow, tit-willow!" 

(During this song KATISHA has been greatly 
affected, and at the end is almost in tears.} 

KAT.: (whimpering) Did he really die of 

Ko: He really did. 

KAT.: All on account of a cruel little hen? 

Ko: Yes. 

KAT.: Poor little chap! 

Ko: It's an affecting tale, and quite true. 
I knew the bird intimately. 

KAT.: Did you? He must have been very 
fond of her! 

Ko: His devotion was something extraordi 

KAT.: (still whimpering) Poor little chap! 
And -and if I refuse you, will you go and do 
the same? 

Ko: At once. 

KAT.: No, no you mustn't! Anything but 
that! (Falls on his breast.) Oh, I'm a silly 
little goose! 

Ko: (making a wry face) You are! 

KAT.: And you won't hate me because I'm 
just a little teeny weeny wee bit bloodthirsty, 
will you? 

Ko: Hate you? Oh, Katisha! is there not 
beauty even in bloodthirstiness? 

KAT.: My idea exactly. 



KATISHA and Ko-Ko 

KAT.: There is beauty in the bellow of the 

There is grandeur in the growling of the 


There is eloquent outpouring 
When the lion is a-roaring, 
And the tiger is a-lashing of his tail. 

Ko: Yes, I like to see a tiger 

From the Congo or the Niger, 
And especially when lashing of his tail. 

KAT. : Volcanoes have a splendour that is grim, 
And earthquakes only terrify the dolts, 
But to him who's scientific 
There is nothing that's terrific 
In the falling of a flight of thunderbolts. 

Ko: Yes, in spite of all my meekness, 

If I have a little weakness, 
It's a passion for a flight of thunderbolts. 

BOTH: If that is so, 

Sing derry down derry ! 
It's evident, very, 

Our tastes are one. 
Away we'll go, 

And merrily marry, 
Nor tardily tarry 
Till day is done. 

Ko: There is beauty in extreme old age 
Do you fancy you are elderly enough? 

Information I'm requesting 

On a subject interesting: 
Is a maiden all the better when she's tough? 

KAT.: Throughout this wide dominion 

It's the general opinion 
That she'll last a good deal longer when 
she's tough. 

Ko: Are you old enough to marry, do you 

Won't you wait until you're eighty in the 


There's a fascination frantic 
In a ruin that's romantic; 
Do you think you are sufficiently decayed? 

KAT.: To the matter that you mention 

I have given some attention, 
And I think I am sufficiently decayed. 



BOTH: If that is so, 

Sing deny down deny! 
It's evident, very, 

Our tastes are one. 
Away well go, 

And merrily marry, 
Nor tardily tarry 
Till day is done. 

(Exeunt together.*) 

(Flourish. Enter the MIKADO, attended by 
PiSH-Tusn and Court) 

MIK.: Now then, we've had a capital lunch, 
and we're quite ready. Have all the painful 
preparations been made? 
PISH: Your Majesty, all is prepared. 
MIK. : Then produce the unfortunate gentle 
man and his two well-meaning but misguided 

(Enter KATISHA, Ko-Ko, PITTI-SING, and 
POOH-BAH. They throw themselves at the 
MIKADO'S feet.) 

KAT.: Mercy! Mercy for Ko-Ko! Mercy 
for Pitti-Sing! Mercy even for Pooh-Bah! 

MIK. : I beg your pardon, I don't think I 
quite caught that remark. 

POOH : Mercy even for Pooh-Bah. 
KAT.: Mercy! My husband that was to 
have been is dead, and I have just married 
this miserable object. 

MIK.: Oh! You've not been long about it! 

Ko: We were married before the Registrar. 

POOH: I am the Registrar. 

MIK.: I see. But my difficulty is that, as 
you have slain the Heir Apparent 

(Enter NANKI-POO and YUM- YUM. They 

NANKI: The Heir Apparent is not slain. 

MIK.: Bless my heart, my son! 

YUM: And your daughter-in-law elected! 

KAT.: (seizing Ko-Ko) Traitor, you have 
deceived me! 

MIK.: Yes, you are entitled to a little ex 
planation, but I think he will give it better 
whole than in pieces. 

Ko: Your Majesty, it's like this: it is true 
that I stated that I had killed Nanki-Poo 

MIK.: Yes, with most affecting particulars. 

POOH: Merely corroborative detail intended 
to give artistic verisimilitude to a bald and 

^T r> in you* 

oar? (To MIKADO) It's like this : when your 

Majesty says, "Let a thing be done", it's 
as good as done practically, it is done be 
cause your Majesty's will is law. Your Maj 
esty says "Kill a gentleman", and a gentle 
man is told off to be killed. Consequently, 
that gentleman is as good as dead practically 
he is dead and if he is dead, why not say so? 
MIK.: I see. Nothing could possibly be 
more satisfactory! 



Finale of Act II 


PITTI: For he's gone and married Yum- Yum 
CHORUS : Yum- Yum ! 

PITTI : Your anger pray bury, 

For all will be merry, 
I think you had better succumb ' 
CHORUS : Cumb cumb ! 

PITTI: And join our expressions of glee! 
Ko: On this subject I pray you be dumb 
CHORUS: Dumb dumb! 

Ko: Your notions, though many, 

Are not worth a penny, 
The word for your guidance is "Mum" 
CHORUS : Mum mum ! 

Ko: You've a very good bargain in me, 
ALL : On this subject we pray you be dumb 

Dumb dumb! 
We think you had better succumb 

Cumb cumb ! 
You'll find there are many 
Who'll wed for a penny, 
There are lots of good fish in the sea! 
NANKI: The threatened cloud has passed away, 
YUM: And fairly shines the dawning day; 
NANKI: What though the night may come too 


YUM: We've years and years of afternoon! 

ALL: Then let the throng 

Our joy advance, 

With laughing song 

And merry dance, 

With joyous shout and ringing cheer, 
Inaugurate their new career! 
Then let the throng, etc.